Oh boy.

I was at the pool this morning and I've started to recognize some of the regulars. Two that really stick out are a pair of older men and that are seriously overweight. I'll call them Mr. Big #1 and Mr. Big #2. They know each other and are forever talking about different business ideas in the locker room. I'm pretty sure that Mr. Big #1 is the owner of a couple of local restaurants. Sometimes Mr. Big #2 makes it into the pool for a swim. I think Mr. Big #1 just uses the hot tub.

Today they and I were the first three people in the locker room. The combined weight would have been somewhere in the neighbourhood of 860 lbs., and I tip the scales at 160 lbs. Since the triathlon is next weekend, I was using this as a chance to practice getting dressed while wet and getting used to biking after swimming, so I was getting my locker set up and putting my stuff in order when I heard a clapping sound.

I turned around to see that Mr. Big #1 had sat down on the bench between lockers, but he was naked. His enormous 350 lbs. butt was firmly planted on a slotted bench in a communal locker room. I shuddered and nearly gagged. As I promise to myself, I will never touch that bench or any other bench in that locker room ever again.